This is the team fielded by our boys today, in the order they appear at the plate.

Is this some sort of twisted challenge lineup? Dusty says, "Well, Carlos, you had our best start of the year last time out, so let's see if you can win with this offense! Don't complain, I'm trying to get you to the point where you can win the games all by yourself. Just go out there, hit a solo homer, and shut them out. You'll thank me later."

I know you have to rest your starters sometimes, but this is ridiculous. Did I miss Todd Walker getting hurt? He didn't play last night because of the lefty, so there's no reason other than injury to hold him out today.

I'll stop there, since I'm obviously in a mood to complain. Besides, as I'm writing this, the bases are loaded for the Cubs with no out in the second, and Paul Bako just hit a run-scoring single to put us up 2-0.

On second thought, maybe I should keep going. Perhaps my negative energy will guide us to an offensive onslaught the world has never seen. Come on, boys, make me look stupid (it's good work if you can get it)!